What's the female equivalent of "bros before hoes"? That's ostensibly the topic on the agenda today. Typically, proper protocol would say that the girls should come before the great guy who lives in Philadelphia, and you have to imagine that's how readers will see it. But it's worth noting that Shelasky is writing a blog about her dating life. So, uh, wouldn't it make sense for her to go on the date instead of spending time with the girls?

But, again, that's only the ostensible question. The real one is: Which of her friends has a membership in Soho House?

And, of course, there's this comment from dinner there:

Everyone called me crazy for putting myself out there on this blog (I still don't see what's so damn nutso about it, but that's another topic). But they're just looking out for me, and I think they saw how theraputic all this self-expression actually is (Thanks, by the way).

That's another topic??? No, that's the topic.

Several interesting developments in the comments section, which is increasingly where the real action is (here, too, it should be noted). After Shelasky's musings yesterday on free will, "skinnieminnie5" offered a novel suggestion:

Have you ever thought about playing for the other team... you know... the away team? Just a thought because you seem to be having no luck with the guys and your picture is really cute. I live in LA and would love to show you a good time. I play for both teams....

You have to admit: It would be more interesting. But Glamour will put Ellen DeGeneres on its cover before Shelasky goes gay, so perish the thought. (Alllllthough, today she writes: "Your comments, and even some of your criticism, really got inside my head.") Here, however, is the best comment from yesterday, by "blacksilk3," reprinted in its entirety:

The more I read your blog, the more I wonder...are you using it to drive guys away? The way you keep talking about your "23 year old" and knowing that he reads your blog, he is going to move on quickly...no matter how great the two of you get along, no matter how much you have in common. You wrote that you are just toying with him...well that isn't going to make him feel really good...unless you end up hooking up with him and that is all that he really is looking for. However, you also said that he could teach guys older than him a thing or two, so why are you saying he is just a phase. He sounds like a great guy and you could blow it by talking about him like this. It is great that you are being honest in your blog...however, why are you even thinking this stuff. If he is a great guy, just go with it...don't overanalyze it. Enjoy it!

Finally, a commenter taking the blog itself into account! It's a crucial question: How did the 23-year-old feel about Shelasky's admission that she has "kind-of forgotten about him," and will he just forget about her? Now, for the record, honesty should be paramount on the blog, or else the whole experiment would be a farce. But that doesn't mean Shelasky won't alter what she writes—subconsciously or intentionally—in order to affect the situations she's writing about. Her casual "forgotten about" remark could have been a sly way of brushing the 23-year-old aside. Or, it could have been a call for him to turn up the heat. Either way, it was a loaded comment.(Speaking of which, we learn today that he's in town "for a last minute business trip." Ummmm . . . )

The gist of today's post is that Shelasky and the dentist (a.k.a. the ex) will both be in the Hamptons for Labor Day weekend, and she's afraid she'll be weak and call him. She wants a gameplan for avoiding the drunk-dial after dry martinis with the girls. (Note the slightly pained with-the-girls prose: "I mean it— I'm really going to mess up and call him if we don't come up with a good plan.") Now, let's ignore that, as many commenters today have already noted, this is a ridiculous question. Instead, consider the premise: Her dilemma is a surfeit of guys to date or spend the night with. She's spending Labor Day in the Hamptons. Tonight she's going to a "painfully cool new club" frequented by celebrities, and pregaming that with dinner at a "fancy French restaurant where my friends eat for free." She'll be wearing Gucci. Will we see a widening disconnect between Shelasky ("Breathe, Alyssa, breathe") and her readers, who are beginning to suspect that nothing's really wrong?

Shelasky took a slight scolding from her readers after yesterday's post. One choice comment from "Alyssasmyhomegirl":

Honey,
I'm starting to get the feeling that you have no idea what you are looking for. Do you want fun or do you want a serious relationship of meaning and real love?

The backlash—if eight comments can be considered a backlash—culminated with this observation by "orangegirl":

I can't tell if this post is a real reflection of your feelings, or if you have to come up with something to say every day . . .

Burrrrrrrrrnnnn!

But, come on, she does have to come up with something to say everyday—almost like it's her job. Still, it's fascinating to see this disconnect between Shelasky and her readers: She's writing a blog about her love life, first, and having a love life, second. That seems inevitable, and she doesn't have a choice. But her readers, or at least those commenting, would rather have it the other way. It's a clash of postmodern and earnest sensibilities! The question is: How does Shelasky see it?

In any event, the fiesty commenters are unlikely to be asuaged by today's post, which asks whether Shelasky should only date "marriage material."

On Friday, we wondered if the 23-year-old, aware that Shelasky was game for a second date, would take preemptive action. Wouldn't you know:

I had every intention on texting the 23 year old, as 41% of you (the most popular vote), told me to, but he got to me first!

Unfortunately, he texted to say he would be out of town for the weekend, and as we (and he) and already knew, Shelasky is off to New York tomorrow for a week. So bad news for the 23-year-old: "To tell you the truth, I had such a fun weekend that I've kind-of forgotten about him."

The fun weekend involved a "posh house party" with an on-again-off-again English teacher. But Shelasky had issues with him "talking too closely to ALL of the other women there." She asks if it's okay "to confront him about his womanizing ways," thereby digitally confronting him about his womanizing ways.

Shelasky's date with the 23-year-old went well and ended with a kiss. The restaurant was switched from a deli to AOC, "a trendy tapas restaurant known for its intimidating wine list." You might recall this post a week ago:

He remembered me saying I was craving New York deli so he suggested some place in Beverly Hills that has (don't laugh) "the best pastrami ever." Ok ok, I know it doesn't sound like the most sensual night, but something about his idea was really endearing!

Already aware from the blog that Shelasky has qualms about his age, did the 23-year-old change locations to emphasize his sophistication? Now instead of "endearing," which sounded like a generous synonym for "cute," he's got "alluring, impeccable manners." You can't show that off over pastrami.

Shelasky notes that they have "so many similarities." Here they are, along with the previous blog posts that may have provided helpful advance research for the 23-year-old . . .

— "Both come across as extremely social but are homebodies at heart." Apropos her very first post . . . "I miss my family who, in touchy-feely California terms, are 'my safe place.'"

— "Both love working for ourselves." See . . . her job is blogging about her love life.

— "Both love to hike." Hmm . . . "We'll hike in Runyon Canyon, my favorite place in LA."

— "Best of all, both incredibly good at giving advice." See . . . her love life is dictated by advice from her readers.

Shelasky then recounts an after-dinner run-in with an "aggressive, type-A, Daddy's girl" who knows the 23-year-old and growled, "He's mine." Type-A, who also knows Shelasky, presumably reads the blog. How will she react? Will her knowledge of how the relationship is progressing allow her to sabotage it? But best of all, Shelasky says, "I didn't dare tell my date what happened." She just did!

Not answered: Did the blog ever come up during during the date?

Today's question is whether Shelasky should press for a second date this weekend because she's going to be out of town next week, and if so, by what form of communication? This raises several questions: Will the blog take a hiatus when she's away?? Will the 23-year-old, knowing she's up for round two, suggest a weekend date himself? Does the 23-year-old vote on the blog, and has he considered getting his friends to stuff the ballot box? And if that were discovered by Shelasky sometime in the future, would she find it cute, weird, or too meta to handle?

Shelasky rags on the slacker with information gleaned from her sister's date with slacker's friend, the producer. Will this hurt the budding sister-producer relationship?

Shelasky also confesses further apprehension about the 23-year-old's age in advance of their first date tonight. She asks whether she should "consciously avoid talking about our age difference." Will that prompt the 23-year-old, who we know is definitely reading the blog, to preemptively bring up the issue himself?